Are You Tired of being the Black Sheep of the Family?
Refusing to keep quiet about abuse and actually desire to heal, rather than cover it up.
Or expressing the family pain through behavior such as substance abuse, chronic physical illness, rebellion, or depression/anxiety.
Unfortunately, when you carry this mirror, others in the family seize the opportunity to interpret the reflection not as themselves, but as you being the source of the problem. It’s you holding the mirror, right? Remember, from their point of view needing to maintain the status quo, the IP is the one who is troubled and needs to change, not the family.
A family system with unresolved pain will work to keep the status quo at all costs. As long as you are the IP, no one else has to admit to any wrongdoing, no one else has to honestly confront deeply seated pain, no one else has to remember painful memories of the ways the dysfunction began with grandparents and great-grandparents, no one else in the family has to honestly, openly communicate with one another…ever.
~ Dr Kyra, www.drkyra.com